Random Questions on a Friday Morning

Good morning. Got my exercise this morning as you can see and now, after I recover, I’ll get to work doing more laundry and writing the final chapters of Listen to the Stones.

This week was a busy one for me. Tuesday, I spent the day at a track meet. I wore a hat but still managed to get sunburned ears. My grandkids all did very well in their events and will be moving up to the next level of competition. Wednesday, I had breakfast out with my sister–love the Mexican omelets at Stacks. Thursday morning, I got the final visit for a quote for my bathroom reno and then went to do groceries. We would be rich if we didn’t have to eat! In the afternoon, I audited an online course on how to write better blurbs. I’ll decide which book blurb to work on to test it out. Which brings me to today.

There are lots of things to blog about, but I enjoy picking out things that come across my feed and today’s choice is a bunch of random questions which I’ve commented on. If you have answers, feel free to share!

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor? Excellent point. He’s an Englishmen. They are usually quite capable of growing beards. Look at Robinson Crusoe.

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? I do this, but don’t ask me why. Changing the batteries works much better.

Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough? Isn’t this a lot like trying to get blood from a stone?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? To be able to hear instructions on when and where to immolate themselves. Why else?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Four billion is just a number, but you could be lying about the paint. It might’ve dried.

Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’? Onomatopoeia of course!

What is the speed of darkness? According to Muhammad Ali, “I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.”

Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours? Not all babies wake up that often. Once they sleep through the night, it’s bliss.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Probably below zero, but that’s a math question, and I suck at math.

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer? Depends on whether or not the marriage is a happy one.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Women weren’t in charge of that department.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? I don’t look at the ground, I look at the skyline in the distance, but I’m weird that way.

Did you ever stop and wonder… I do but that’s usually when I forget why I came into the kitchen.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’ I don’t know, but I’d rather meet that guy than the one who looked inside the oyster and said, ‘hey, that looks good to eat.‘

Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s bum.’ For the sake of argument, I’ll assume he saw another animal eat it and figured that if it’s good enough for him, it can’t be that bad. What I’d like to know is who decided that coffee beans that pass through some monkey’s gut are better than those that don’t.

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Hubby loves burned toast. The smell makes me think I’m having a seizure. I like my bread barely toasted at all.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? One of life’s mysteries, but I can find the tub of ice cream in the dark.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is? Sign language! And as for looking for the bathroom, haven’t you seen those doing the pee-pee dance?

Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway? Needs to keep his or her eyes on the prize. LOL

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs! Better trainer! Goofy can talk, too.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? The obvious answer is testicals.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 98 % mineral oil and 2 % fragrance and meant to be used on babies to keep their skin soft, but old people use it too–and for a variety of things. They needed the fancier name since no one would pay more for the 2% fragrance, since you can buy mineral oil.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Some of them think it does.

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Baa Baa Black Sheep have the same tune? Easier to remember and hum when the baby won’t got to sleep at 3:00 a.m.

Stop singing and read on…

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? I don’t like it if the dog blows in my face–bad breath. At least the air outside the window is cool and fresh.

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster? Of course. Isn’t that why we all do it?

Copied and pasted from someone who also copied and pasted

Today’s musical question:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmvxCbehzFE

Have a great weekend!