2025 Ato Z Challenge Blog the Letter F

April 7, 2025. Fourteen days until my surgery date. Am I nervous? A little. My niece had her knee replaced in late March and had a hard time with it. She lost more blood than expected–how does one even guess at how much blood you lose during surgery? Then. her blood pressure dropped dangerously low. To add insult to injury, the pain medication nauseated her, and didn’t relieve the pain. Since she was frozen and noy put to sleep for the surgery, she remained frozen for way longer than expected. The leg was badly swollen and since she was still in pain and frozen, with her blood pressure bouncing around, what was supposed to be day surgery ended up including a 4 night stay in the hospital. Since we have universal health care here in Canada, it didn’t cost anything dollar wise, but in terms of pain and suffering, it was expensive. She’s only 48 years old, much younger than I am, but she had a hard time of it. The good news is, one-week later, she’s on the mend and doing well. The body is an amazing thing, and given time, it can heal itself. All if takes is patience.

And that is what brings me to today’s F word. Fear. Being afraid of the unknown isn’t new. I’ve had nine previous surgeries– so many, right? One tonsilectomy, three Caesarian Sections, one hysterectomy, one appenditomy, one broken foot reset, one wisdom tooth removal, and one severe abcess in my chest wall that could’ve gone worse than it did. So I do know a little about the process. Each time, I woke up, I had a few lousy days, but in the end, my fears for the worst were unfounded. Now, as I look forward to number ten, I’ll admit to being afraid again. I’m older. It takes longer to get over things–even a cold will lay me low for more than a week. It doesn’t matter that the experts claim a knee is much harder harder than a hip –more moving parts–or that everyone reacts differently to pain, or that there is never any certainty that everything will go as planned–which is why I had to sign the document that stated that I am aware of all the risks involved with the surgery, the worst one being death.

Fear is just another fact of life. There is very little I can do about being afraid. I’ve spoken to a lot of people who have had the surgery without any issues, including my 90-year-old aunt, and I use those facts to try and mitigate my distress. But the bottom line is that the surgery will alleviate the constant pain I live with now, and that is what keeps my fear in check. I dream of being able to take long walks again. Of being able to travel once more. Of being able to sit through my granddaughter’s graduation. I know that this won’t be the end of the pain. I have another hip, two shoulders, and of course two knees in my future, but for now, I’ll focus on this particular fear. Who knows? By the time I need more spare parts, they may have perfected the process.

Here’s today’s musical treat.

Come back tomorrow and see what I have to say about G. Looking to read more blogs? Check this out: MASTER LIST https://tinyurl.com/tauke86z